10 July 2009

End of the longest week ever!

It was the longest week ever. Some how the week after the 4th of July & my birthday always feels forever long. Plus, there was a silly (READ: UTTERLY POINTLESS) meeting at the corp office this week which resulted in more money coming out of the paycheck for insurance. Every day at work this week was just like being kicked in the shins by a two year old wearing steel toed boots. But it is over now & I'm free to do whatever I want for two days.

Which is excersicing constantly - because if you believe 'the evil scale' which is probably broken I have gained another pound back. Excersicing, watching Big Brother & reading CIA books for research on the new novel. And not eating. And not smoking.

I'm enjoying watching the live feeds very much. Kind of like living with my big family & crazy brothers again in an odd way. I miss the sounds of a house full of people around me. I miss cooking for a bunch of guys who just dropped by. It's just not the same with out it. As much as I've been enjoying my solitude lately I'm begining to realize I really am a people person and need the energy provided by hanging out with people in person. It's interesting when you think one thing about yourself and find out something very different. I think that last relationship just soured me on the human race for a bit there ~ but now that the tide's going out there's a faith in human beings resurfacing. Maybe they aren't all liar/con artists who want to hurt other people? Well...here's to hoping any way.

A little depressed after the weeks end. Both the boys are out and I'm just realizing how much of my life I am seriously in need of retooling. It gets to be a monumentous task when you see the mountain ahead for the sheer size of climbing it. Sighs. Have to keep remembering it's one task at a time. One change at a time. Rembering who I was one part at a time and hitting reset.

I don't know...seems I just want to lay down and have a nice comfy nap in my wonderful squishy bed and a nice dream about Mr. Right. I'm sure he's out there somewhere...must be wondering around in a desert with out a compass or something. lol. None the less I'm going to resolve to have faith that he's out there...

1 comment:

  1. thanks for stopping by.....been where you are now. It works out...see my earliest "angst" writings..


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