14 July 2009

Neurosis & wisdom

Tibetans have a saying that the only difference between neurosis & wisdom is struggle. If we stop struggling with our neurosis it will transform into wisdom.

It wasn't until I stopped struggling that the light came back on in my soul. There's not alot of struggling here ~ though some times like tonight I find old toxic residue creeping up. I guess that's what happens when you live with lies for so many years.

For a fleeting moment tonight after my evening walk I hit a rough patch & really struggled & had to question what it was that I was fighting with inside my self.

There was a simple sentence I'd heard it for years but I hadn't ever addressed that in my heart of hearts and so it remained unchallanged until tonight. Funny how something can slip past you - until you look at it and toss it into the garbage.

I know one thing my life today is better. It is good and in every breath it is becoming better. I can & will still love the way I was raised to love. Semper fidelis. Noblesse Oblige. Honor est praemium virtutis. Motos for a life lived well and ones I will never stray from.

As always there's a path ahead lit by a bobbing light in the distance. It comes and goes when I least expect it but it is there when needed. Do not struggle. Accept life as it is. It is stupid to be afraid of that which you cannot avoid. And perhaps, if I continue on I will find the only thing I've ever wanted in the first place...

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