11 August 2009

Blue Skies

Tonight the skies were alive - the sort of heavy summer night where the sky is the wrong kind of blue weight pressing down on the earth - moving thick humidity an impalable substance pressing against you.

Then the drums began in the distance, broken by the rapid shock of lightening as the storms moved in. The rain was violently beautiful. Sweet and cooling. So, naturally I went out for a long walk with my red umbrella. What else is there to do in a summer storm? It's cool now, the air & earth are sweet, soaked in green hunger and fresh life.

Walking is a good time for me to think. Separate from life, I can see things more clearly. I've been thinking about the law of attraction. How what you think about is drawn to you. So, I've been examining my thoughts. Deeply & with a skeptical eye. This project of changing my life is deeper for me than simply changing my body or my health. It's all encompassing for me. I mean to change my mind as well. I use to be so positive internally & focused. I mean precisely to get back to that because I can see the correlation between when I shifted & when I diverted from what I am attracted to by nature towards what I attracted to me by negitivity. All of it comes down to having bought into a belief that I wasn't worthy and didn't deserve the life I wanted...

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